Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 8:30AM A Religion is Unbelievable When it Oppresses Women
I was alerted to this Nicolas Kristof column by one of Nashville's women's rights champions, Chris Clarke. He and his wife Maryanna run Tennessee Women's Theater Project, which provides a voice to women on stage. You may not realize it, but females are drastically underrepresented in the performing arts. (Updated: Chris informed me in the comments that he only supports TWTP. He also lifts heavy things.)
What Kristof highlights in his column many of us have known for years: the world's oldest and most popular religions oppress women by treating them as inferior to men, which often leads down a pathway towards violence. In an ironic twist of fate, Kristof suggests that the very religions that have oppressed women may be the only thing to right that wrong.
But can the patient heal itself?
I tend to stop certain behaviors when I find them damaging to others or myself. We all have our habits and addictions, but when I'm at my cognitive and moral best, I decide what's not working and move on to something that is. For me, church now fits into this category.
While Christianity has many strands that form a very ragged (and sometimes beautiful) tapestry, its threads of oppressive behavior and violent actions are repulsive. Whether it's racism, slavery, sexism, or legitimized hatred, an attitude of destruction stands out on this mosaic like a dark stain. We try our best to look away or chalk it up to someone else's careless spill, but by wearing this garment, we give unfortunate homage to an unwelcome past.
Many will do as Kristof suggests and work from the inside. I applaud those who do. The church needs you to help right its wrongs and move forward together, just as some have done in the wake of genocide. For me, I've chosen to work outside of the church, to no longer call it a familiar home, content in doing more for the intent of Christianity beyond its restrictive walls.
I aim to raise my daughter knowing that she is free to make her own decisions. If she chooses to become part of a church that tragically limits gender roles and requires male genitalia to ascend to the highest ranks of leadership, then I will be content knowing that she made a choice under her own free will. Or, if she chooses to disbelieve in an institution that places superficial parameters on its members and blame it on authors of old, then I will support that decision as well.
Perhaps she'll come to the conclusion that Elisa Doucette did, which she articulated in a comment on a recent post:
This is...a huge part of why I disassociated myself from organized religion. I find the gender roles and responsibilities to be very outdated and unfair (at best) and that is coming from a girl who truly does believe that a wife's primary role is to support and love her husband ([of] course I believe that the reciprocal is true at the same amount)...
Ultimately, I value progress. I understand the benefits of tradition, but have to break with it when it stands in the way of the highest values of equality, freedom, and justice. I myself cannot reform the church from the inside. I love all that it can be when it is at its best. In fact, I love that ideal so much that I cannot be a part of it while it decays into bigotry and sexism.
I wish those leaders mentioned in Kristof's column (known as The Elders) the best of luck. But, I resonate more with the person who once said, "I love the church so much that I must destroy it. Doing so is the only way to save it."
Reader Comments (5)
Thanks, Sam for a most articulate statement on an issue that is too often overlooked. I have one tiny quibble with your post: I'm not as important as you make me sound! My role with Tennessee Women's Theater Project is to support, not lead.
As I often tell people, I am a board member and lifter of heavy objects for the company.
Thanks again!
Chris Clarke
Tennessee Women's Theater Project
Giving Voice to Women Through Theater Arts
Chris:
Thanks for the clarification - and for all you do!
-Sam
the bible teaches us that WE are the church - each and every individual believer. we are not the law; we are not pharisees and should not subscribe to tenets that stress ritual over spirituality. the church was never a place. the church was always inside of us.
there is a vast difference between being religious and being a disciple. to be religious is to subscribe to doctrine that is 2,000 years old. My what we have learned since then! To be a disciple is to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ while seeking direction from what disciples believe is a true and risen savior. i have no interest in trying to change the church from within. nor do i have any interest in trying to change the church from "without." my interest is in discipleship.
now, i have a loooong way to go - but that's okay, too. i believe that the experience will teach us, the Spirit will lead us, and that there is a divine order in the universe. BUT, I do not believe that christian believers are embrued by the sins of the historical and present day church. no. we must all of us work out our own salvation, on our on terms--on our own merits.
bloominglater:
Well put! I agree that we've all got things to work out, wherever we choose to work them out. I also like your distinction between religion and discipleship. Thanks for saying that.
-Sam
Sam- Amazing words. Thoughts that have circled in my mind on many occasions. I was raised in a variety of environments- parent's who believed, but never attended church (yet insisted that I do); private/Christian school with a severely conservative background; friends who question religion as I do.
It's not necessarily the leadership practices that make me feel the way you're feeling, but the politics that surround all aspects of being involved in church. The gossip. The judgment. The pressure to be like everyone else.
I agree with "bloominglater"- we are the church. There are a variety of ways to find God, and for me, it's not sitting in a pew. It's running in icy cold weather. It's lying in the green grass during springtime. It's hearing beautiful music. It's listening to dynamic stories.
Thanks for this, Sam. You really made me stop and think, and I love that!
Paige:
Thanks for the kind compliment. And thanks for sharing how you find God. No doubt "raising a bunch of money for cancer research" should also be on that list, right?
-Sam
Sam - Glad my comment resonated with you. I love the choices and life you are setting up and wish for your daughter. She is going to be a strong and beautiful woman (unfortunately before you know it!)
One of the biggest things that I see happen with organized religion is that people use it as a tool to wield power. Have since religion came out of the kitchens and into the cathedrals. Unfortunately that power manifests itself frequently in fear and anger. Like so many other political machines it loses sight of the beauty of its message and values in playing games. Sad really...
Elisa:
Well said (as usual). Maybe we do need to put religion back in the kitchen? I'm all for it. I also agree that religion can be a force for good. Many organizations are stepping up to the plate with Haiti, for example. Hopefully churches and other religious orgs can highlight things like inclusion, harmony, and helpfulness rather than conflict and politics. Here's to hoping.
-Sam
AMEN! Sam, your daughter is a very lucky girl. She has a very profound, strong father and will blossom under your guidence. I love your words of truth and hope. I wish all men believed this way. Thank you for the very strong words and actions...
"I love all that it can be when it is at its best. In fact, I love that ideal so much that I cannot be a part of it while it decays into bigotry and sexism."
I am thankful that my God is not a part of this.
Joan
Joan:
Your God isn't part of it. Neither is mine. Let's keeping working together.
-Sam