You Don't Have to Have it All
Consider these words permission for you not to have to have it all. To you, the over-achiever, Type A, perfectionist, people pleasing, image conscious, resume building, ambitious, title craving, intense doer: You can stop. If you won't take my words for it, listen to Helen Mirren:
"I'm a get-a-dress-at-the-thrift-shop-but-open-a-bottle-of-champagne kind of person."
And this is exactly why we don't have to have it all. Not only is it impossible, it's a fool's pursuit. Rather, try to have all of what you value and let everything else disappear. You'll be happier.
Spend money on memories instead of stuff.
Rent what doesn't need owning.
Take vacations and pictures and skip out on trying to impress people you don't really love.
Be honest with yourself when your closet is full and your home is cluttered. If you don't like it, get rid of it.
Say "No" when an opportunity doesn't make your heart sing. It will make your "Yes" so much more valuable.
If someone is a jerk, don't let them into your heart.
Find out how liberating it is to give away money to someone or something else.
Stop measuring your worth with paychecks or resumes and instead count the currency that comes in the form of laughter with friends, time spent in a rocking chair on a porch, and how great you feel at any given moment.
Free yourself from responsibilities you loathe so you can be open to jump when the window to your dreams finally opens.
Things that don't matter: your college GPA, your job title three companies ago, and what they think about you.
Discover what kind of art you love. Find some. Frame it and hang it where you can see it every day.
No one said you have to have the newest clothes. Or furniture. Or TV. But people you love do want you to be happy. So, if you have been trading money for new clothes you'll never wear proudly, stop. Trade it for what excites you most, be it a dress from the catalog or a relic from your childhood. If you want the surest sign of what you actually care about (and not just what you say you care about), look at your credit card statement.
If your stories are boring, it's time for a change in routine.
The journey of self-examination is long. It's scary and forces you to say out loud to yourself those secrets your brain has tried to keep bottled up all these years. But, those of us who have done the hard work of finding out what we value and then built lifestyles around it are happier, healthier, and more hopeful than those who dress in the expectations of others for seasons on end.
Me? I like drinking red zin with my wife, taking my daughter to the playground, trying new, unpredictable things with friends, being there for important moments with family, and putting words on paper. I'll do what I need to support those habits.
What will you let go of so you can have all of your dreams?