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How To Stay in a Hotel Like a Pro

I slept in hotel rooms at least 100 times this year. I didn't lose anything at any of them. I never forgot what room I was in. I stayed productive and healthy. I did show up at the wrong one once, but that's really Utah's fault, not mine. Here's what I've learned and how you can stay right, people.

Towel thickness improves with the more stars a hotel has. This is not true for toilet paper thickness.

Got an early flight out? Stay near the airport. It’s not sexy, but you’ll get an extra half-hour of sleep.

Be nice to the front desk people. Just because.

Room service is never worth it. 

Staying for one night? Don’t unpack. But if you’re crashing for two nights or more, make use of those drawers. 

Your keys, wallet, and watch always get placed together, on the right hand corner of the desk. Don’t lose those things.

When you get to your room, put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. This way, if you go down to the lobby or run out later, you’ll more easily remember your room number when you come back. 

The cost of parking should sway your decision on where to stay. An extra $30/night adds up.

Stay with a brand that washes its comforters.

Rooms with wall thermostats are better than those with dials on the AC unit themselves. 

Ask for a room far away from the elevator. The sounds of arrival - bings and dings and metal doors opening - get tedious into the night.

Before you go to bed, double check that clock radio and make sure the alarm is off. You don’t want errant screeching around midnight.

Schedule a wake up call and set the alarm on your phone. When you absolutely have to wake up at a certain time, be doubly sure you can get out of bed.

All hotel rooms look the same in the dark. Don’t overpay for “art” on the walls over the bed or a certain "vibe" you can't enjoy while asleep.

Loyalty matters. Everything in Up in the Air is true. Earn something when you sleep somewhere (easy, tiger). The perks only get better and better. 

What about you? Any tips or tricks to share?

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