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Sam Davidson's blog

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Our lives are divergent now

In catching up with a friend via email, both of us trying to figure out when we could catch up in person, I realized the reality of our situation.

He's an entrepreneur with a flexible and inconsistent schedule. I'm a salaried employee with daily requirements. He's single. I'm married. He has a dog and watches lots of football. I'm about to have a daughter. He just upgraded his patio furniture. I must figure out how to install a car seat.

Our lives are divergent now.

We're still friends and we will definitely still find a time to meet in person, have a drink, some laughs, and a good time. But, realizing that your personal and social situations have changed will make you better friends. Honesty - the cornerstone of any good relationship - means that you have to be honest with yourself, too.

Social media doesn't make this any easier. Instead of journeying with someone for an extended period of time, we can conveniently peek in on their life at any given moment. If you haven't spoken to someone in four years, you can continue not speaking them. But at least you now know they have two kids and like watching CSI.

Life and the situations that comprise it change. So do best friends. And passions. And jobs and relationships. Pretending that things are always the same won't help us rekindle anything. Acknowledging that we're getting older and growing up allows us to enhance existing relationships with the reality of who we are and who we're becoming - even if it's someone different than we used to be.

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