Afraid of something? Go deeper.
The only way to see if that monster in the closet is real is to open the door, walk in a take a look around. That's when you realize there's no monster at all. It was just the way the moonlight was hitting that pile of clothes.
But stay outside the closet, stay shallow, and the monster stays real. Things stay scary. There is a lot to learn by depth. Take a lesson from freedivers.
I used to be afraid of flying. No idea why, but when I was about 20, I started to fear taking off and being hurtled through the air. So I developed rituals over the next few years whenever I flew. I kissed my wedding ring as we accelerated down the runway. Before my flight I checked the weather forecast (and turbulence forecast) relentlessly. I watched the flight attendants or seasoned business travelers to see their reactions at various sounds or bumps in flight. But none of this helped. None of this took me deeper.
Photo by plusphoto/a.collectionRF/amana images / Getty Images
So I dove. I read two great books by Patrick Smith. I started to understand the hows and whys of it all. And I flew even more. And now I even delight in climbing into a metal tube and racing through the air.
Shallow keeps us safe, but it doesn't make us smarter. And it definitely doesn't make us better.