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A Few More Things Your Life Doesn’t Need

The following is a guest post from Tyler Stanton. If Hulu existed when we were in college, he never would have graduated.

As many of you know, Sam just wrote an incredible book called 50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need. Incredible...yet woefully incomplete. I’ve been emailing him 3x a day since the book’s release trying to get him to create an addendum to the book with a few of my ideas peppered in.

He’s assured me the addendum isn’t going to happen, but he’s also agreed to let me post them here if I promise to never email him again. You’re on, Sam. You’re on.

Here are a few more things your life doesn’t need:

51. A Vanity License Plate I can’t imagine how intense the regret is after you’ve purposely branded the back end of your car with “L8R G8R” or “BADBOY”. I mean, the DMV lines are really long. You had plenty of time to convince yourself this was a poor decision.

52. A Buddy Waiter Look guy, I came to Outback for the Bloomin’ Onion – not a new pal. If you feel the need to kneel down or skootch into my booth while taking my order, we’re heading to Longhorn.

53. Ringtones I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you’re the only one who cares about your new ringtone. The rest of us use the vibrate feature like adults.

54. Two and a Half Men DVDs Unless, of course, you’re using them for coasters.

55. Elbow Contact on Flights Look, I didn’t sprint to the terminal and forego my morning coffee so we could share an armrest. I did it so I wouldn’t have to spend my entire flight trying to touch my shoulders to my chin...again.

56. A Car CD Player I’m fortunate enough to drive a car made in 2010. It came with a CD player and no way to play an iPod, which makes about as much sense as the fact that altavista.com still exists.

57. Photos of Me Holding Up My Gifts My relatives have photographic documentation of every Christmas gift I’ve received from 1980 until present day. I can’t think of a single situation where having that picture of me holding up that crew neck Miami Dolphins sweatshirt would benefit you.

What else should be added to the list? The best comment (as chosen by me, Tyler Q. Stanton) will receive a free copy of 50 Things Your Life Doesn't Need.

About Tyler: Tyler Stanton is part of a movement of people who don’t take themselves too seriously. His blog, tylerstanton.com, helps dozens of his fellow travelers in their own journey every single day. If all goes according to plan, his glorified pamphlet, Everyday Absurdities: Insights from the World’s Most Trivial Man, will be required reading in all nationally accredited universities by 2026. If all goes according to plan, he will never own a dog.


This is a picture of Ryan Guard. When notified, he said, "Thanks Sam, I can't wait to read your book! And thanks to Tyler for proving that absolutely anyone can write a book. Anyone at all."